The pros of Shirley's house of Hope are how giving the community is. In this day in age, tragedy and trauma are more common than they really should be, so to having a neighborhood of compassionate people goes a long way to those stuck and confused about what direction to go. I think the shared meals are a great idea, especially if someone is not use to a more connected type meal setting. It brings people together. They always do create the best of holidays also for everyone staying here.
The Cons, Obviously when you sign paperwork to stay here, you know it's a religious establishment and everything is based in this way. However, I think it should not be FORCED. I do understand that is the take staff is trying to help people coming from trauma find hope however, 9 times out of 10, it's doing the opposite affect.
I think there needs to be way more training on acceptance of each persons uniqueness and individuality and how to ACCEPT.
If this is truly to help people than compassion is the goal, and if the bible is what we are practicing and teaching, then we would know, LOVE is the whole point. Everything else is irrelevant then. Everyone learns differently, everyone see things through there eyes differently. And it may not be in a fixed way but that does not make them a bad person. Sometimes it takes time to evolve the way others do, patience is key.
And forcing someone to understand something will never ever work.
Staff needs to better trained on trauma based situations and not resort to just biblical things (not against it) but to come to a more open minded and accepting mindset, it does not work for everyone.
Even if that is not the intention here, there needs to be way more flexibility for each individual person.
Trauma and or addiction changes the brain, that does not mean that makes someone less than, but it means there's HARD work to do for self to heal and rewire to feel safe and to get out of fight or flight. Staff IS NOT GIVING the flexibility, understanding or time for this, it's expectations and rules and it does the opposite affect. Control is triggers MOST people , everyone on this planet wants to feel safe in there environment, it takes some times to process and feel it out in a new place before the body can process everything is okay. This is how behaviors like gossip from people coming in happen, it's because it's been the normal, and if there is not time to one self, people tend to self sabotage there environment.
The shelter should adjust rules and expectations so it mentally helps instead of causes an opposite reaction.
Prompting it more so "How can we help you to feel safe right now" practicing self love or healing that is generalized because we are all human. The goal should be to lift the spirit of people up in confidence with love and opportunity/free will.
I have been to many shelters and this is the only one that I see had rules having kids seperate in bible study times, which I get but, I think activities that are generalized and focused on self love and healing and uniting the families closer would be way more beneficial, especially if people coming in are seeking compassion, and understanding, Loved ones bonds especially from their own kids would healing.
I think parenting styles are also judged and criticized a bit too much, which is also a lack of education and trying to fit people in a fixed mindset.
We must give people opportunities and the choice to want to heal, and even bible study a choice because then a persons heart is open but someone NEED a safe space and not to punish those who don't want to go about it this way, it's okay if people don't learn the way others do, they should not be turned away based on this though.
To Love is to accept.
To accept is knowing to to evolve yourself.
People can only understand you as far as you understand yourself. You can sabotage someone or many if you choose to put a blue print on them.
I pray that positive changes can be made so more love, healing, and connection can be formed in this shelter.
