CAS&ARSC Smile
Bay Shore, NY
This is a very long overdue heartfelt thank you to several women over at LIADV. In 09/2020 I finally got the never to walk away from 15 years of emotional and physical abuse. I came to LIADV not knowing what kind of help I needed just knowing I needed to make sure it was the last time I’d put myself or my daughter through what I endured and sadly sometimes she witnessed . These compassionate empathic knowledgeable earth angels helped walk me through the process of how to obtain an order of protection and obtain custody of my little one on top of providing me with individual counseling and group counseling to help me understand and heal from my trauma. They were the first people I really opened up about all the things I dealt with bc if you have even been in that boat especially for a long time then you know over time the bad sh*t becomes normalized and eventually you think you caused triggered & deserved it. Individual counseling opened my eyes but the group counseling is when I truly felt like I was healing being in a group w/ other women and men who had been there too realizing your not alone and wondering if these narcissists trade notes at some secret meet up given they have so many of the same tendencies really made me not only self reflect but recognize and realize what red flags to look for in the future and how to not tolerate it anymore . During my group counseling I met someone and was worried I’d fall into the same cycle I continued to go to the group meeting 6 months into my new relationship not just b/c I built bonds with the group (some of us even met out side the counseling a few times) but bc I didn’t trust my own judgment. I kept going and more and more realized they helped me recognize flags that my new relationship didn’t have it was the opposite of what I came from it was caring compassion understanding an despite our cultural differences he wanted me to thrive and build me up he wanted to help me become the best version of me like these women at LIADV. It was at that point I realized I had “graduated” from needing LIADVs services anymore b/c I felt stronger, more knowledgeable and I had developed more respect for myself , learned to create boundaries and the list goes on. I used to say this counseling was really good for me and really bad for some other people in my life bc it opened my eyes up so much that I realized my former partner wasn’t the only narcissist in my life. It was the start of my new chapter in life. They helped me realized I had found my own worth again and I had found someone that didn’t want to feed me breadcrumbs he wanted to give me an entire loaf BUT he wanted to eat it with me and then bake some more bread and I am still with him today over 4 years later still in the honeymoon phase, my daughter loves him and my heart smiles every time I watch them build legos, play a game together, build something together even watching them doing handstands lol b/c it soooo different from before. We communicate, we listen and we work together as a team and we respect each other. He stuck by me through my trauma healing, emergency surgeries with my mom and stayed by my side through the thick thin and ugly when I went through breast cancer last year too. Why am I putting all of this out there b/c these women were the little candle light of hope flickering at the end of a long dark tunnel and as I kept walking thru the darkness they held my hand and when I met him they stood next to me still holding my hand until I was really ready to let go of theirs and stand on my own. Now I hold his and I will forever be thankful for these advocates. It’s been along time and idk if they are all still there but I want to send a big heartfelt thank you to Jenna Saltillo, Danielle DiNapolli and especially Menasha Sandu and Denise Scherer for teaching me not to accept the breadcrumbs, for having faith in me when I didn’t have it in myself and for being amazing human beings. Wishing all of you very happy holidays and a lifetime of the love you put out into the world. ❤️
